Sunday, July 19, 2009

If Boys were Men...

Some months ago while loosing sleep over, what else but boys, this thought came to my mind, "What If Boys were Men?"

Life experience, meditation, and lack of sleep converged around 3am to produce the following monologue. It was later shared to my closest friends and greeted with much initial laughter and followed by much strong discussion and debate. Through some final editing, I have decided to make it known to my acquaintances at large through this blog. Hope you enjoy!

If Boys were Men...

then they would not have to have a woman to be secure.

then our churches would be places of practical solutions and not emotional fixes.

then this campus would be one where every woman felt respected and every dorm were equally clean.

  • I think dating should be reserved for mature, godly adults who are seeking a helpmate and lover. (Everyone else is just playing around with emotion and temptation.)

  • I think the role of the Husband/Father should be filled by a man and a woman should be cast as the Wife/Mother.

  • I think that those contemplating a relationship should be seeking Godly counsel not discussing “How to make it official”.

  • I do not think that boys should be allowed to have relationships with women under any circumstances-whether they are 16 or 35.

  • Boys are not to be considered as men until show practically that they are preparing to lead a family.

  • Men can prepare to lead a family now by practicing leadership among their peers and showing respect to their authorities.

  • Opening doors now should be out of courtesy and respect, not the hope that someday I'll do your laundry and pick up your socks.

  • If you say your my friend but try and act like my boyfriend then you are the reason facebook has a 'its complicated' option and are subjecting both of us to the comments of others. Please stop!

  • If you ask me what time I am going to lunch, instead of 'Would you like to eat with me today?' then you are:

        a) showing your insecurity by not allowing for the possibility of rejection.

        b) showing your pride in assuming that my food will some how taste better if I eat it sitting across from you.

        c) doubting my capability of finding you in the cafeteria if we should (*gasp*) arrive separately.

(Whatever the case you are trying to act like my boyfriend and are not ready to lead a relationship.)

  • If you continue to pursue me after I have expressed that I do not have feelings for you then I cannot be held responsible for the emotional trauma that may result.

  • If you imagine that you understand me, yet are publicly proven wrong, then I reserve the right to laugh inwardly at your expense. *Note: As a lady I would at the time try to minimize your discomfort, but my humour guarantees I'll have a good chuckle with my roommate that night.

  • If you do not have godly, mature male friends who value your time and friendship, then what will lead me to believe that you worth spending time with?

  • If you have no existing close friends the how can I see that you are capable of healthy and God honoring, deep relationships.

  • If you don't see at least two flaws for every good character trait that I possess then we are thinking of two different ppl, and this relationship ain't gonna work.

  • If you are reminded of yourself while reading this may I suggest as a sister in Christ, and a woman, that you have some maturing to do in some or all of these area's.

  • If you are deeply offended by this let me first say that you miss my jest, but perhaps a chat in private over a cup of tea would soothe your concerns.

  • If you think this is a lighthearted ventilation of bend up emotions, then you are my true friend and I would welcome a hug next time we meet.

1 comment:

  1. Very good post.
    I am attending a Christian University, and have felt the same feelings expressed by girls here... but the guys don't do anything about it simply because they (we) don't see the urgency or necessity right away... or we press our own view of girls vs. ladies instead of addressing our own weaknesses as boys. I'm not excusing this, I'm just trying to explain how we tend to take the easy way out.

    I personally am apalled at the idea of leading a family in less than three years, since so many people see that as the natural next step after college. I know I'm not ready, and I want to prepare myself, but assertiveness is probably my main fault, a very crucial part of being a man.

    It's so true, that guys aren't as strong as they once had to be by our age. I appreciate your acknowledgment of our responsibility, and for vocalizing that to someone like me who had to hear it. And you may have posted this "lighthearted"-ly but I honestly believe that every college "boy" needs to hear this.

    Keep up the 3am ramblings - they're good.

    ReplyDelete