I was raised by my sister's, Austen Style!

While relaxing this afternoon (i.e. watching Pride and Prejudice while sipping Earl Grey and attempting to fold laundry) I had the most astounding discovery...my brother is much more intelligent than his behavior would suggest! Not only did this 13 year old join me on the couch to watch this 6 hr period drama, but he interacted and maintained dialogue as we sat.
It was almost too much after this afternoon's episode which involved my family's own 'Netherfield Experience' (an Austen term for "exposure to public ridicule" based on the Bennet family's mortifying exhibition at the Netherfield Ball) which included, but was not limited to my brother jumping on the roof of my car while I attempted to make a prompt escape. With that memory in the base of my thoughts you can imagine the utter amazement of hearing actual conversation escape the lips of my brother. I can only hope that as I continue to feed my brother a steady diet of Austen Adaptations that he will come to realise the importance of behavior, education and most of all moral character.
I realize that true fruit in an individuals life must flow from a relationship with God and character is based of His pure and holy standards. God's standards will become rooted as the Word is studied and the Holy Spirit headed. I feel that though character is mainly inward, should be displayed outwardly through good manners and etiquette. A genuine love and concern for others will be evident by ones actions. These I see laking in my daily interactions with my brother but surely a strong dose of Austen will provide a livid practical example of Gentlemanly behavior.
I can't help thinking, Could my brother one day become a Mr. Darcy, Mr, Knightly, Edward Farris, or Cpt. Wentworth? At the moment I see him as a less corrupt version of Mr. Crawford, who is the life of the party and enjoys the attention he receives from females without any thought of a steady relationship or sacrificial love. Am I too harsh? Well, he is my brother and I won't make the mistake of Mr Bennet thinking 'it will all come right in the end". So I shall continue my plot and hope that I have not overestimated the power of literary hero's in influencing a young man into a gentleman. May Austen prevail!

What is the Sound of summer?

Is it the bee's hum in the rose garden or neighbor puppies yelping as they settle a domestic dispute?

is it the applauding wheat fields or the Indianapolis Orchestra performing Symphony on the prairie?
is it the laughter of children on the park swing or the explosion of my brother's fireworks?

What is the Smell of summer?
Is it the muggy breeze which reeks of freshly cut grass and a not-so-distant thunder storm?
is it the stench of chlorine after swim practice or the fragrance of a grill indicating that dinner is on the patio?
is it the campfire smoke we breathe while making our s'mores or the sent of the neighbors flower garden?

What is the Sight of Summer?
Is it the twinkling lights of the fair after sunset or the golden sun gleaming off the corn fields?
is it the deep verdure of the forest floor or following a butterfly's flight till it lands on your arm?
is it the smile of a childhood friend welcoming you in or the red-white-and-blue cloth which waves proudly from the front porch?

What is the Taste of summer?
Is it the relief of lemonade down a parched throat or banana splits made by hand with your cousins?
is it the sweet sensation of cotton candy as it melts on your tongue or the purple stain of berries on your lips?
is it a late night taco bell run with your friends or a 4th of July picnic with your church family?

What is the Touch of summer?
Is it the embrace of the warm breeze standing on a hill or the chilled freshness when you step into the woods?
is it the tickle of raindrops as they glide down your face or the caress of a cotton skirt on your knees?
is it your pounding heart while you sprint around the bases for a double or the tingle of mud seeping through your toes?

I Love, I have Loved, I will Love...

"We'll never meet any men locked up here, We're beyond the reach of love...it will kill me!" Rose spat out the words with conviction.
I turned away silently, I would have thought love was the murderous thing, not the lack of it. I am never going to fall in love. Life is dangerous enough.

For anyone wishing explore the concept of love, lust, infatuation, and heart-break from a safe distance, an hour and a half spent watching, "I Capture the Castle" will not be a waste of time.
The novel/movie is narrated by Cassandra who is also the heroine. She aspires to be a writer and keeps a diary hoping to 'capture' in shorthand the characters around her. The result is an honest 'coming of age' account following two sisters in their encounters with adolescent life and yes, love. Forget the love-triangles of soap operas, because this tale features a five character disaster described by the heroine as a party game "where no one gets the prize they want because its all second hand and third best."

I won't spoil the end by saying it all turns out as it should, because it doesn't. Lies and misdirected passion lead only to places of confusion and hurt, however, the author is kind enough to lead us to a place of satisfaction by the close of the book.

Before I haste to recommend this realize it contains nudity and adult themes which, though only rated as PG, I would be uncomfortable to view in mixed company.

Tears over Dollars and Cents

I cried in church today. After the Service was a special meeting called a "ministry update" which in reality was a challenge to the remaining church members to step up and build the church. Five years ago after the retirement of our long time pastor, families began leaving. The new pastor is a Godly and Educated man, an effective teacher and has a wonderful family. His only fault---he wasn't someone else. Long story short he began making necessary changes and families began leaving over trivial preferences. Our funds have decreased over the years several budgets have been revised and cut. Today as a final effort to relieve the deficit we are cutting 1/3 of our missions budget. Sadly this means that we are 'no longer partnering' with 15 of our missionaries. Only the missionaries our church has specifically 'sent out' are being kept (my family included) along with some retired missionaries. Being an MK it crushed my heart to hear that the Lord's work was being held back because of finances.

"Oh, God! You own the cattle on a thousand hills! If You are Almighty, why is Satan succeeding in tearing apart your church from the inside out? Lord, it hurts because I know what it means on the other end. To have supporting churches struggling is very discouraging. Receiving another letter bearing the news that they can no longer continue to support your ministry. It hurts to be a missionary aching to be on the field, delayed in you 'home' country when in reality your heart is miles away with the lost people you had to leave behind. God I trust now as much as ever, that You will accomplish Your will. You will be victorious. Your name will prevail...Lord, bless these missionaries. Strengthen them in this valley, provide for them from another avenue."

Our pastor challenged us to give Cheerfully, (in my mind i though 'Check!') Generously, (check) "Sacrificially" (ouch!). How many movies have I seen, how many meals have I eaten out. Yes, I give but not enough to effect my lifestyle. And it hit me that it is the unwillingness of many Christians to sacrifice extra TV stations, or the latest cell phone or weekend entertainment, that is causing the lifestyle of missionaries on the field to make major lifestyle sacrifices. What unnecessary purchases have I made that I am unwilling to surrender for the work of the Lord?

"Lord, challenge me and show me what I can do. Give me wisdom as I budget and resolve when I give. May I learn to sacrifice with a cheerful heart"

Declaration of Dependence

Today an interruption in my plan began a chain of thoughts about the independence of my character/personality. My reflection on this topic began as I exited work and sat in wait for my scheduled chauffeur. "Just five more minutes" came and went until 45 mins had lapsed. I used this time constructively to finalize my bi-weekly budget and plan out the drills for swim team tomorrow while intermittently I rationalized my ride's "unpreventable" delay. These ranged from "the clock in the kitchen is slow, she must have misplaced her keys as well, then there was a phone call the very moment she was finally going out the door, when she reached the car it wouldn't start, that must be it." Hmmm, but she hasn't called to office yet. No one has come out with a message for me. Ultimately, I reached my frustration point and surrendered to the realization that I had en forgotten. =(

Not gonna lie I had a pity party for a good five minutes then got over myself and asked, "Now what do I do?" Two options can to mind- A) return to the pool office, explain I have been waiting for 45 mins for my ride and ask to call home. B) Find my own way home, i.e. hitchhike, bus or walk.
The first option seemed to make my parents look irresponsible and put myself too close to the 'little lost puppy' category. Being a secure, independent and active woman who lost her bus timetable and isn't stupid enough to hitch hike, I chose to make use of the legs God had provided and triumphantly began to trek home.

The hour long venture in the heat of the day cause a re-evaluation of my decision making paradigm...Was I too proud? Headstrong? and Independent? Why would I choose to walk rather than the obvious solution of simply calling and reminding my mom? Partly, it was a gorgeous day and I love the outdoors. Secondly, I had the time-no appointments or plans till that evening. And Third, I would rather take an hour out of my way than wait any longer for a ride. I rely on others for almost everything, what better way to declare my independence?

This is just one step in weening myself out of my parents care. As I mature I will depend on them less and less, but through out life there is one person who I'll never outgrow my need of. My dependence on Him can't change (I will never need him less and I can't need Him more) but my realization of its depth continues to grow each day.
I realize that "...in reality I’m nothing on my own, It’s by God’s grace alone that
I can make this confession. All that I am and all I’m hoping to be is all and only what He’s given to me. So I say This is my declaration of Dependence,This is my declaration of my need, This is my declaration of dependence on the one who gave His life to me."

To my creator, sustainor, Savior, Lord, provider, comfort, protector, author and finisher of my Faith and lover of my soul-this is my declaration of dependence on You.