Procrastinator Me? Procrastionator You?

I sit in my 7.30 class and open up my incomplete homework which is due in 2hrs and counting. After speed skimming two chapters and answering the questions, I open the self assessment book and look up this weeks Quiz. Flipping through the workbook I wonder what insight into myself will be revealed by deep reflection and honestly consideration of soul searching questions. (If you have ever taken an OLS class that required these torturous Self Assessments you will hear my sarcasm)  I can't help smirking as I read the title: "Are you a Procrastinator". I glanced it over the page wondering why it takes a full 25 questions to figure out that I like to put things off to the absolute last minute! May I remind you that I sit in my 7.30 class working on homework that is due in my 9.30 recitation. =)  Well I did the quiz as objectively as I could and calculated my score to be 23/25. It seems correct but may I suggest that only one simple calculation is needed in the place of 25Q. Instead of accomplishing something productive I've decided to give this some thought and have now created my own equation to objectively calculate your, for lack of a more creative term, Procrastination Factor. To find your procrastination factor you simple think of the homework you were doing before you decided that you wanted to check facebook and found this Blog. Now subtract the number of hours remaining until that homework is due from the hours you were given to complete the assignment then divide by the amount of time given. The resulting decimal is multiplied by 100 to make it a percentage and that my friends is your procrastination factor. For me I had a week to complete the Quiz so 168hrs. Remaining time was about 1hr and 15mins or 1.25hrs. So my calculations look like this...
(Time Given-Remaining Time) / Time Given x 100
=(168-1.25) / 168 x100
=166.75/168 x100
=0.9925 x100
=99.25

So there you have it...my OLS Procrastination factor is 99.25%!

I am confident that my theory will work for more than just homework...my equation has implications for calculating the procrastination of universally avoided tasks like laundry, cleaning your room, or calling back your mother. =) Just kidding! These tasks don't have set deadlines so procrastination is too relative to be calculated. BUT other everyday tasks like returning movies, filing your taxes, handing in a requests off form at work that have definite deadlines are capital examples!

Another One Bites the Dust

My roommate is pretty much awesome. We have a language all our own made of words and phrases coined from every medium imaginable. Whether it is movie quotes, music lyrics, code names for certain individuals, or common catch phrases with a special twist our shared experiences grant us a plethora of material ready to be folded like a paper airplane and sent carrying a coded message. Come with me to dinner a few nights back. Set in your mind a cafeteria during peak traffic. Upperclassmen yell across tables to get each other's attention. Freshman walk wide-eyed desperately trying to spot a familiar face and an empty seat. My table is packed with reunited dorm sisters sharing about summer jobs and/or planning room designs to accompany a newly purchased refrigerator. Naomi returns with her cup of tea and I'm eager to share with her a discovery I've made in her absence. A certain childhood friend of mine is one table away sharing a meal with my ministry coach from last year. From the beginning of last semester Naomi and I had picked them out as a 'future couple'. They are simple too perfect for each other in all their ridiculous quirks not to date each other. Now I could have attempted to whisper below the noise and say, “Look over there, so-and-so are having dinner together.” But in an environment of such chaos a whisper is on-par with normal volume so by the time I repeat it loud enough for Naomi to hear, five other people will be privy to my comment. Instead I revert to 'roommatese' and break out singing, “Dum, Dum, Dum, Another one bites the dust.” To any other individual, this reference to Queen brings back images of 80's power ballads and the outlandish rock bands who sing them, but to my roommate it conveys just the meaning that I intended, no more no less. She laughs as we join together for the chorus, “And another one gone, and another one gone. Another one bites the dust!”

Ode to the Profs.

School has begun. It is only by God's determination and grace that I am able to spend this school year at BBC. I will write about that series of provincial events later but for now I'm going to begin a memoir of my classroom experience focusing on the gems of wisdom that fall from the mouths of my mentors. Each day of class I will add a quote from one of my profs. and see at the end what treasure I have gained! Hope you enjoy "Ode to the Profs."!

August 25th- "Science is trying to understand the world around us objectively as possible, knowing we can't be fully objective."
"Giga's big Mega too! Kilo, hecto, deka through; deci, centi, milli are small. Micro, nano and that's ALL!" (sung to the tune of Barney's 'I Love you, you love me."
~Doc Palmer~

26th- While calling the role: Andrew H. Andrew H? Andrew's not here?" *Pause* "One more out of the book of life."
~Schlegoel~ (who else)

27th- "Homework is like sand in a clam---it can produce a pearl, but only after great irritation."

If Boys were Men...

Some months ago while loosing sleep over, what else but boys, this thought came to my mind, "What If Boys were Men?"

Life experience, meditation, and lack of sleep converged around 3am to produce the following monologue. It was later shared to my closest friends and greeted with much initial laughter and followed by much strong discussion and debate. Through some final editing, I have decided to make it known to my acquaintances at large through this blog. Hope you enjoy!

If Boys were Men...

then they would not have to have a woman to be secure.

then our churches would be places of practical solutions and not emotional fixes.

then this campus would be one where every woman felt respected and every dorm were equally clean.

• I think dating should be reserved for mature, godly adults who are seeking a helpmate and lover. (Everyone else is just playing around with emotion and temptation.)

• I think the role of the Husband/Father should be filled by a man and a woman should be cast as the Wife/Mother.

• I think that those contemplating a relationship should be seeking Godly counsel not discussing “How to make it official”.

• I do not think that boys should be allowed to have relationships with women under any circumstances-whether they are 16 or 35.

• Boys are not to be considered as men until show practically that they are preparing to lead a family.

• Men can prepare to lead a family now by practicing leadership among their peers and showing respect to their authorities.

• Opening doors now should be out of courtesy and respect, not the hope that someday I'll do your laundry and pick up your socks.

• If you say your my friend but try and act like my boyfriend then you are the reason facebook has a 'its complicated' option and are subjecting both of us to the comments of others. Please stop!

• If you ask me what time I am going to lunch, instead of 'Would you like to eat with me today?' then you are:

  a) showing your insecurity by not allowing for the possibility of rejection.

  b) showing your pride in assuming that my food will some how taste better if I eat it sitting across from you.

  c) doubting my capability of finding you in the cafeteria if we should (*gasp*) arrive separately.

(Whatever the case you are trying to act like my boyfriend and are not ready to lead a relationship.)

• If you continue to pursue me after I have expressed that I do not have feelings for you then I cannot be held responsible for the emotional trauma that may result.

• If you imagine that you understand me, yet are publicly proven wrong, then I reserve the right to laugh inwardly at your expense. *Note: As a lady I would at the time try to minimize your discomfort, but my humour guarantees I'll have a good chuckle with my roommate that night.

• If you do not have godly, mature male friends who value your time and friendship, then what will lead me to believe that you worth spending time with?

• If you have no existing close friends the how can I see that you are capable of healthy and God honoring, deep relationships.

• If you don't see at least two flaws for every good character trait that I possess then we are thinking of two different ppl, and this relationship ain't gonna work.

• If you are reminded of yourself while reading this may I suggest as a sister in Christ, and a woman, that you have some maturing to do in some or all of these area's.

• If you are deeply offended by this let me first say that you miss my jest, but perhaps a chat in private over a cup of tea would soothe your concerns.

• If you think this is a lighthearted ventilation of bend up emotions, then you are my true friend and I would welcome a hug next time we meet.

Unknown Danger

Its been said that 'an unknown danger was more dangerous than one that could be reckoned with beforehand' (I Am David, by Ann Holm). I find myself in a place where the unknown is unbearable because it cannot be reckoned with. A place where to be certain of unhappy truth is better than this neutral ignorance. Perhaps what i find most detestable is the spell of humanity this situation brings to my nose...I am limited in my knowledge of the hearts of men, unlike God who sees the depths of our souls. Were I privileged to the entire truth my selfishness would inevitably compel be to take actions towards securing my own will. God is aware of this, he allows it to be such so that I am again forced to rely on Him and His unlimited knowledge.

My weaknesses are again cause for Awe and Praise for they are made sufficient by the Omni (All) of God. That is His Omnipotence, Omnipresence, and Omniscience. He is present in all situations with full- knowledge and wisdom and power to accomplish His Good and Perfect Will. With this in mind, I need not, no I dare not worry about the present or future which I cannot know nor change.

The bottom line is this---There is no danger which my heavenly father does not know and will reckon with to use for His Glory!

I was raised by my sister's, Austen Style!

While relaxing this afternoon (i.e. watching Pride and Prejudice while sipping Earl Grey and attempting to fold laundry) I had the most astounding discovery...my brother is much more intelligent than his behavior would suggest! Not only did this 13 year old join me on the couch to watch this 6 hr period drama, but he interacted and maintained dialogue as we sat.
It was almost too much after this afternoon's episode which involved my family's own 'Netherfield Experience' (an Austen term for "exposure to public ridicule" based on the Bennet family's mortifying exhibition at the Netherfield Ball) which included, but was not limited to my brother jumping on the roof of my car while I attempted to make a prompt escape. With that memory in the base of my thoughts you can imagine the utter amazement of hearing actual conversation escape the lips of my brother. I can only hope that as I continue to feed my brother a steady diet of Austen Adaptations that he will come to realise the importance of behavior, education and most of all moral character.
I realize that true fruit in an individuals life must flow from a relationship with God and character is based of His pure and holy standards. God's standards will become rooted as the Word is studied and the Holy Spirit headed. I feel that though character is mainly inward, should be displayed outwardly through good manners and etiquette. A genuine love and concern for others will be evident by ones actions. These I see laking in my daily interactions with my brother but surely a strong dose of Austen will provide a livid practical example of Gentlemanly behavior.
I can't help thinking, Could my brother one day become a Mr. Darcy, Mr, Knightly, Edward Farris, or Cpt. Wentworth? At the moment I see him as a less corrupt version of Mr. Crawford, who is the life of the party and enjoys the attention he receives from females without any thought of a steady relationship or sacrificial love. Am I too harsh? Well, he is my brother and I won't make the mistake of Mr Bennet thinking 'it will all come right in the end". So I shall continue my plot and hope that I have not overestimated the power of literary hero's in influencing a young man into a gentleman. May Austen prevail!

What is the Sound of summer?

Is it the bee's hum in the rose garden or neighbor puppies yelping as they settle a domestic dispute?

is it the applauding wheat fields or the Indianapolis Orchestra performing Symphony on the prairie?
is it the laughter of children on the park swing or the explosion of my brother's fireworks?

What is the Smell of summer?
Is it the muggy breeze which reeks of freshly cut grass and a not-so-distant thunder storm?
is it the stench of chlorine after swim practice or the fragrance of a grill indicating that dinner is on the patio?
is it the campfire smoke we breathe while making our s'mores or the sent of the neighbors flower garden?

What is the Sight of Summer?
Is it the twinkling lights of the fair after sunset or the golden sun gleaming off the corn fields?
is it the deep verdure of the forest floor or following a butterfly's flight till it lands on your arm?
is it the smile of a childhood friend welcoming you in or the red-white-and-blue cloth which waves proudly from the front porch?

What is the Taste of summer?
Is it the relief of lemonade down a parched throat or banana splits made by hand with your cousins?
is it the sweet sensation of cotton candy as it melts on your tongue or the purple stain of berries on your lips?
is it a late night taco bell run with your friends or a 4th of July picnic with your church family?

What is the Touch of summer?
Is it the embrace of the warm breeze standing on a hill or the chilled freshness when you step into the woods?
is it the tickle of raindrops as they glide down your face or the caress of a cotton skirt on your knees?
is it your pounding heart while you sprint around the bases for a double or the tingle of mud seeping through your toes?