Tears over Dollars and Cents

I cried in church today. After the Service was a special meeting called a "ministry update" which in reality was a challenge to the remaining church members to step up and build the church. Five years ago after the retirement of our long time pastor, families began leaving. The new pastor is a Godly and Educated man, an effective teacher and has a wonderful family. His only fault---he wasn't someone else. Long story short he began making necessary changes and families began leaving over trivial preferences. Our funds have decreased over the years several budgets have been revised and cut. Today as a final effort to relieve the deficit we are cutting 1/3 of our missions budget. Sadly this means that we are 'no longer partnering' with 15 of our missionaries. Only the missionaries our church has specifically 'sent out' are being kept (my family included) along with some retired missionaries. Being an MK it crushed my heart to hear that the Lord's work was being held back because of finances.

"Oh, God! You own the cattle on a thousand hills! If You are Almighty, why is Satan succeeding in tearing apart your church from the inside out? Lord, it hurts because I know what it means on the other end. To have supporting churches struggling is very discouraging. Receiving another letter bearing the news that they can no longer continue to support your ministry. It hurts to be a missionary aching to be on the field, delayed in you 'home' country when in reality your heart is miles away with the lost people you had to leave behind. God I trust now as much as ever, that You will accomplish Your will. You will be victorious. Your name will prevail...Lord, bless these missionaries. Strengthen them in this valley, provide for them from another avenue."

Our pastor challenged us to give Cheerfully, (in my mind i though 'Check!') Generously, (check) "Sacrificially" (ouch!). How many movies have I seen, how many meals have I eaten out. Yes, I give but not enough to effect my lifestyle. And it hit me that it is the unwillingness of many Christians to sacrifice extra TV stations, or the latest cell phone or weekend entertainment, that is causing the lifestyle of missionaries on the field to make major lifestyle sacrifices. What unnecessary purchases have I made that I am unwilling to surrender for the work of the Lord?

"Lord, challenge me and show me what I can do. Give me wisdom as I budget and resolve when I give. May I learn to sacrifice with a cheerful heart"